TEAS Test Thoughts

The last ‘to do’ list item for my nursing school application was the TEAS Test.  At my school your score is not a factor as long as you ‘pass’ the test with a score above the national average (which hovers around 65%).  Given that a score of 67% and 97% would have the same impact on my application, I figured my time was not best spent studying any more than absolutely necessary.  And so I began studying for the test the evening prior to taking it.  I used this TEAS book (which I recommend buying used and then selling on amazon used so it will cost you about $10-15  when all is said and done).

As I began reading it I had one very big thought: “oh darn–I should have taken this in the fall–I used to know this stuff.”  I would highly recommend taking it right after taking your chemistry/biology pre-reqs.  The science content will then be freshly in your mind.

I let the online comments psych me out a little bit, but I took the test with my three hours of prep and came out with a score of 94% in the 99th percentile.  Ironically my lowest score was in the English section (this is ironic because I have an English degree).  Stupid writing classes teaching you to break all the style “rules.”  (note that prior sentence is not an actual sentence.)

So, moral of the story: the TEAS test is actually kind of easy, especially if you have good multiple choice test techniques.  Luckily for me, this is the kind of thing they teach you if you attend high school in England.  That and how to drink your weight in alcohol and then pour a cup of tea without spilling.  Here is my fool proof method for not sucking at multiple choice question tests:

a)  Read the question and then imagine the answer.

b) Look through the answers and see if your answer is among them.

c)  It is? Awesome!  Make a little – next to it.

d)  You are not done yet.  (If you suck at taking multiple choice tests this just Blew. Your. Mind.)

e)  Read all of the answers one by one.  If they are completely impossible make an x next to them.  If they are kinda maybe possible under some interpretation of the question put a – next to it.

f)  If you have one – and three xs circle the answer with the -.  (But you’re not done yet.  See step h.)

g) If you have several – answers, read through the question again and the answers again and pick the best one.  You’re still not done though.

h) Finish the test.  Now go back and reread all of the questions and answers and see if you still agree with your original answer.

i) If you are using a scantron, NOW is the time you fill it out.  And then you go back through your scantron and look at them all again and make sure you didn’t make a mistake and fill in the wrong bubble.

Yes, this method will mean you are usually one of the last people to leave the test.  But I’ve never run out of time on a test using this method.  AND then you get to be all smug about how you did everything possible within your being to do the best you could at that test.  So feel free to go all British afterward, keep a stiff upper lip, and wear nude pumps like Princess Kate.

Emotionally Surviving Anatomy & Physiology

(warning: cadaver image in this post is likely not work or child friendly)

About 30 minutes into Anatomy & Physiology 1 I texted my doctor sister-in-law, “Does this ever get less gross?” and instead of the reassuring “of course!” response I was expecting, she asked “What do you think is gross?”

This.  This was what was threatening my lunch.

She was a little concerned about my ability to make it through the ‘grosser’ things ahead.

For the record, I still find this pretty stinking gross.  But the good news is that yes, yes it does get better.

And I think that’s important to say.  I think there’s this quiet idea that if you think this stuff is gross, you don’t belong in medicine.  But I don’t believe that.  I think if you’re going into nursing because you love PEOPLE, you might not love standing over a person that has been cut into pieces. And that’s okay.

So anyway, yes, I was grossed out by EVERYTHING in the beginning.  Including this diagram of skin.  But it gets better.  And it’s not so much that I think it’s completely the opposite of gross (because if I really look at that diagram and think about how that is IN ME it still makes me want to die a little bit) but I learned to put up barriers.  Instead of seeing these types of diagrams and thinking “oh my gosh–that’s going on ALL OVER ME RIGHT NOW” it’s purely an academic exercise.  “That is skin.  Must learn those layers and their functions.  Don’t need to think beyond that.”

I took A&P 1 online, and one of the biggest differences between taking A&P online and A&P in person is the lack of a cadaver.  While the zillion dollar lab kit includes a mini model skeleton (most expensive Halloween decoration I’ll ever own), sheep brain, and cow eyeball, you don’t gain experience with human body parts. Here’s an example of a lab from the online A&P 1 that involved dissecting a sheep’s brain:

So while I had learned how to cope with A&P 1, when I took A&P 2, I had to learn to figure out how to function in the presence of a cadaver.

It was a shocking experience for me.  They bring in the cadaver on a stretcher in a body bag and you’re sitting there thinking “there is currently a dead person in the corner” and then they open the bag and begin taking off panels.  It is like those lift-the-flap books from your childhood, only the horror movie version.  It gets better once they cover the face with a sheet, but odds are that if you are going into medicine because you like people and not because you’re a psychopath, your brain is going to be doing this: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  THERE IS A DEAD CHOPPED UP PERSON HERE!  I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY SCREAMING IS THE SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE RESPONSE RIGHT NOW!”

In my case, this basic response lasted for five weeks.   It is very very difficult to learn anything when your inner dialogue is doing this on loop:  “Don’t scream.  Are you screaming?  No?  Okay.  Wait–what is your face doing? Do you look horrified right now?  STOP THAT.  You are a professional.  Lock this up.  Make a normal face.  Wait.  What is a normal face?  Oh my God I can’t remember what my face normally feels like when it’s not being horrified.  Think.  Look thoughtful.  Like you’re learning.  Wait–what would Joey do when he was trying to listen to medical dialogue?  Smell the fart acting.  Yes, do that.  Wait–no.  Don’t BREATHE.  Now it is IN YOU.  Oh my God tiny parts of a dead person are now inside you.  Oh no.  Looking horrified again.  Is anyone looking?  WHATEVER YOU DO MAKE A NORMAL FACE.”

I think this is normal.  (or within the normal spectrum.)  I think it’s the response of compassionate people who haven’t yet disassociated Bodies from People.

If you’re early on in your journey and trying to prepare for what a pin test/practical exam looks like, here is a photo from a mock practical (this was for practice, so it had more pins than you might normally see–normally at my school they try to pin it so that you don’t have to move any structures to see other pins):

And then suddenly all it got better.  I look at this picture and I see structures and functions and I don’t even have to worry about what my face is doing.  For me, things got better with the actual first practical exam on the cadaver.  Because finally there was no hanging back, there was no ‘I’ll look that up on my anatomy app from the safety of my own desk later.’  It was “I must figure out what that structure is and I must do it now even if it means I have to touch the inside of that body.”  And like magic, the spell was broken.  The only fear left was the fear of a bad grade.  And like the diagram, this was no longer a “dead person” to me but a “cadaver” that I simply needed to get an A on.

I think it’s an interesting part of the training that goes far beyond simply learning what human structures look like–I think there’s an intentional disassociating bodies from people that goes on here, and I almost mourn the loss of my old innocence.  But for all of you starting your nursing pre-requisite journey and wondering if A&P is survivable if you hate the idea of working with cadavers when everyone else around you is proudly announcing how not impacted they are by all of this, the answer is yes.  If I got past it, I know anyone can!

ACCUPLACER Biology Placement Test Tips

As I looked at the daunting list of nursing school prereqs four years ago, I discovered that while a basic college biology course was needed to get into Anatomy & Physiology and Microbiology, it wasn’t actually required by the nursing program itself.  Eager to cut out a course and its related expenses, I looked into testing out of it through the ACCUPLACER biology placement test my community college uses.  (I believe that CLEP tests are also an option at many colleges, but the ACCUPLACER has the advantage of being being very inexpensive–I believe it only cost me $10.)

My biology background to reassure you that you can do this too:  I went to high school in England, where they think it’s perfectly reasonable to let 15 year olds stop taking science classes, so my experience with biology was limited to me=human because I can talk, tree=plant because of photosynthesis?

So, when I tell you that it’s very doable to test out of Biology 111 if you put in some study time I mean it.  Now, there are times when the A&P or Microbiology prof will reference 111 (as in “as you’ll remember from 111”) and you’ll have that deer-in-the-headlights look for a moment, but overall I am very very glad I saved myself the tuition and time and used the ACCUPLACER test instead of taking the course.

How I prepared:

1) I went to my school and asked for their ‘study guide.’  I received a four page rough outline of what the test would cover and immediately began to wonder exactly to what extend I needed to learn these topics.  For the most part I over-prepared and knew them to a much deeper level than was tested.

2) I rented a general college biology textbook from Book Renter (whom I use for all of my textbooks and save tons of money with!).

3) I watched the Crash Course biology videos on the relevant topics many many times.  I cannot recommend these videos enough–they are hilarious.

4) A large part of Biology 111 handles basic chemistry.  I was taking General College Chemistry when I took the ACCUPLACER test (I was only a month from the final) and there were a lot of basic chemistry questions on the test.  I would highly recommend taking the ACCUPLACER biology test once you have taken your chemistry course (unless you already have a great background in chemistry).

I went through the study guide and using the textbook and crash course videos made my own set of notes for the test.  I got serious and actually started doing this about a month before the test.  I went in, took the test, and got a 94.  You only needed an 80 to test out of general college biology.  The adviser couldn’t believe I hadn’t taken a general college biology course before with that score.

What I’d do differently:

A lot of the test focused on microscopes and their parts.  This is something I didn’t pay much attention to on the study guide (I didn’t imagine they’d test on it) and so my photography experience came in handy here and I was able to answer the questions based on that understanding on light and magnification and focus. However, without photography I might have gotten those questions wrong, so don’t neglect to study the parts of the microscope, what they do, what they’re called and how the overall magnification is calculated.

I didn’t learn the visual structure of various organic molecules and this was something that hurt me on the test.  I’d be familiar with the structure of common molecules.

Disclaimer: I took the test in the spring of 2013.  I’m sure it changes from time to time but before taking the test I did many google searches to try and find out more about it and there just wasn’t any information.  I hope this is helpful to someone as they try to prepare for it!

Hello, it’s me again.

I logged on to wordpress today to start yet another blog.  As a pre-nursing student and CNA I am constantly pestering the internet with questions I hope it can answer: “can I test out of bio 111?” “what are the odds of ACTUALLY getting hired into my dream job?” “if I work nights do I REALLY need childcare or can I just take a nap while Ellie watches The Little Mermaid if I’m only working part time?” and I am ever so grateful to the People of the Internet for answering these questions for me.  I feel like I’m getting to the part of my journey where I might have helpful answers for people just starting out and it sparked in me a desire to start my own “RN or bust” blog.  But then it occurred to me that I already have half a dozen blog urls already and I should stop leaving abandoned blogs like a trail of carnage in my internet wake.  So I’m taking back this one (which, if I remember correctly, is at this point a collection of three previous blogs/tumblr accounts).

Where I’m at today: I’m finishing up my nursing pre-reqs NEXT MONTH (!!!!) and will be starting nursing school in the fall.  Unless something goes horribly wrong in the next month, I will have 4.0ed my nursing prereqs while working as a photographer, homeschooling my youngest, and staying married (IT CAN BE DONE, MOMMAS!  YOU CAN DO IT!).   I also have other exciting news but I won’t share it until I actually maybe have worked there for a year or seven because at this point I’m still scared I’m going to get a “ha ha ha–never mind–we don’t want YOU” phone call.

So that’s me.  And my plan for the blog going forward.  So on the off chance that you’re one of three people that read this blog when it was active and that you still have me in your feed, that’s what will be happening around here!

Me: Hey my little Will!
Will: Hi big mommy!
Me: HEY!
Will: But you are big! You’re ginormous. You’re taller than me. And you’re bossier than me.

sweetest boy in the world

Last night I got home from my consult just after Nic had finished tucking Will into bed.  I opened his door and peered in and Will sat up in bed with the biggest smile and joyfully exclaimed “It’s YOU!  You’re home!” 

I went in to snuggle with him and he asked if he could snuggle with me in my bed if he rubbed my back.  Okay!

So we go into my room and he rubs my back and then asks if he can brush my hair.  Okay!

He brushes my hair, sweetly chattering away, gently arranging it until it is just so.  He tells me that when he grows up he’s going to have a hair cutting place and he’ll drive me there so he can give me hair styles.  And it won’t cost me anything.  And only the spikey hairstyles will be expensive, not the ones that aren’t spikey, because just the spikey hairstyles will be expensive because that’s fair.  And he’ll have a spot for makeup, too, and he’ll give me purple stuff for my eyes and pink chapstick and I can take it with me because he’ll have a door where he keeps lots more.

And he’s also going to be a farmer and he’s going to make a lot of money.  I tell him that money isn’t the important thing and we don’t need money because we already have everything we need, but he says he wants to make lots of money that way Ellie can be a shopper when she grows up if she wants. 

In Will’s telling of the future his version is just so precious.  It involves all of us living together, but Will growing up and getting a job and Ellie growing up and having lots of babies.  He’s so excited for Ellie to have babies because they are going to be really cute and he’s going to put them in a stroller and take them for walks and tickle them so that everyone says “what cute babies!” 

He finishes my hair and sends me into Nic because I look “so pretty.”  I show Nic my hair and then run back to tell Will that we better be quiet and go to sleep before we get into trouble. 

Here’s what I love:  Will.  Here’s what I want never to happen:  for him to grow up.

one decade later

10 years ago it took an entire team of 3 girls, my roommates, to get me ready for a date with Nic.  The makeup, the wardrobe assembly (my skirt and boots, someone else’s top), the dancing around singing to our favorite songs.  Oh the production.

Ten years later, here is what life looks like:

As I’m waking up Nic rolls over and pops a zit on my forehead.  I hate that he does this.  I believe it is permanently damaging my skin.  He’s been doing this for a decade anyway.  “The least you could do is brush your teeth before torturing me” I tell him.  I pee in front of him.  I check my email, see that the bride who had been ready to book our 4k package last night now wants to get it down to 1800.  “You should just tell her ‘if you want all this [Nic points at me] it’s gonna cost you dearly.  at least that’s what my husband says.’ “

All of this and we’d been awake a whopping 20 minutes. 

ellie starts whining

“Why are you crying?” I asked.  “Cause.” she answered.

You’re stoppable, Eloise! You can be stopped!

Will to Ellie, while they play jousted.

Took Ellie to Mass today for the first time in ages.  It did not result in an epic family meltdown the likes of which the world as previously seen (twice).  Success.

In other news, I couldn’t figure out why, every time Ellie gets access to a ball point pen, she always puts it in her mouth like a dog.  Until I caught myself helping her to the potty today with a pen in my mouth and realized THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I DO WITH A PEN EVERY TIME SHE INTERRUPTS ME IN A WRITING TASK.  Ooops.